Visual Treats by Liwei

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I
also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not?"

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and
rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that
tree," sighed the turkey, "But I haven't got the
energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with
nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that
it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch.

Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly
perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly
spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the
tree.

Management Lesson:

Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep
you there.

Lesson Number Three

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted
to be Boss.

The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control
the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the
brain about and get him to
where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do
all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs
and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All
the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being
the Boss.

So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and
refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the
hands clenched, the feet
twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the
brain fevered.

Eventually they all decided that the asshole should
be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other
parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed out the shit!

Management Lesson:

You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole
will do.

Lesson Number Four

A little bird was flying south for the winter.

It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the
ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a
cow came by and dropped some dung on it.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung
was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm
and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out
and ate him!

Management Lessons:

1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth
shut!


Haha funny stories ya..from my email archives